


How Can I Say

by httpsung



Category: Day6 (Band)
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-29 02:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/httpsung/pseuds/httpsung





	1. Chapter 1

Love.

You always wondered when you’d find it, wondering at what point in your life would you experience such a feeling. Being naïve you were expecting to meet the guy of your dreams on the streets, where you’d be dressed beautifully and your heart would race immediately at the sight of him. Never did you expect love to develop at your workplace where you avoided dressing to impress, especially when you were bound to be covered in pizza sauce and flour dough from head to toe.  
Work was always hectic especially when you had more than one role, at times you would have to rush to the phones, taking the orders of customers who could be quite rude. Other times you were slapping out cold pizza dough, tossing it up like a pro and topping it off before it entered the oven. When your manager wasn’t nagging for you to do those things, you were happily in the back of the pizza shop prepping fresh vegetables which meant you didn’t have to deal with customers up close and personal for a while. You relished in those moments.

“Y/n! We have a new kid I need you to train!” You manager called to you from the front of the store. It had been a slower day at the beginning of the week, giving you the opportunity to breathe instead of running around like a chicken with your head cut off. You stopped what you were doing, placing the salad knife in your hands back with the other kitchen utensils, saving the job for later.  
At the front of the store there was a guy, tall and slender with amazing proportions. His hair was a beautiful shade of amber, a bit fuzzy over his dark brows and he sported a pair of wide square frames that fit perfectly to his small face. He looked all too familiar to you, but not as if he was a person you met before. He seemed more like a cartoon character you couldn’t quite put your finger on, but he was cute nonetheless.

“This is Jaehyung.” Your manager introduced the towering male who flashed you his pearly whites.

“Call me Jae.” He responded quickly, your manager nodding his head as if taking note.

“Nice to meet you Jae, I’m Y/n…” You gave him a slight nod, not expecting him to hold out his hand suddenly, prompting you to shake it. His handshake was firm, palms softer than you imagined though there were hints of calluses.  
“Pretty name, let’s get along well.” He beamed, plucking one of your heartstrings. You returned the smile gingerly and began the training process. You never liked associating much with your co-workers realizing after months of working there how bothersome they could be. You kept to yourself only communicating when you needed to, but Jae was different.  
He followed direction well and learned the ropes of making pizza quickly and efficiently. He became popular among employees and customers, a comedic relief and an extremely hard worker. Jae seemed perfect, his presence at your workplace making it more enjoyable each day.

 “Hey Y/n… do you use any messenger apps or…?” He cleared his throat, taking a sip of water while the two of you sat outside on your fifteen-minute break. You were surprised at his question, wondering why he was asking you about messaging apps so suddenly but you answered him with a nod.

“Yeah I use kakao.”

“Great!” He seemed so excited at your response earning him a laugh from you.

“I mean cool…you mind if we talk there sometime? You know, after work?” He asked. You watched him reach for his back pocket, pausing as he waited for your answer.  
“Sure, I don’t mind.” You agreed, pulling out your phone at the same time as him. The two of you exchanged ids and he sent you a message immediately.  
You laughed, finding it humorous that he sent you something when you were right in front of him. His message consisted of an emoji, one that had your eyes widening when you realized it looked like him.  
“Chicken Little!” Your outburst had him throwing his head back in laughter.

“Yeah, a lot of people say I look like him.”  
“You do! He’s cute.” You laughed, reaching forward to ruffle his hair. Jae caught your hand mid ruffle, his fingers slipping between yours.  
The action had your cheeks warming and you both stared at each other silently with your fingers interlaced before he moved his rosy lips to speak again.

“So that means I’m cute?” He asked with a tilt of his head. You felt another heartstring pluck from his question and you nodded shyly.  
“You are.” You responded, igniting a smile from him.

Jae messaged you often after work with sweet words, your texting gradually changing into phone calls, his flirting more obvious to your eyes when the two of you were talking at work.  
Before you knew it, you were making visits to his apartment, one he managed to keep up alone, spending time watching movies and tv shows and even cuddling. The bond between the two of you had grown quickly and there were times in the comfort of his apartment where his lips met yours in sweet kisses that would become heated, roaming all over your body.

You accepted the physical affection, in love with his touches, his warm breath against your skin and the harmonious whisper of your name in your ear.  
In a brief time, you knew you had found the love that you had always imagined and were thankful it came to you at the oddest place being your job.  
There came times where you wanted to shout to the world that you were in love with Jae, wanting him by your side in more places besides his apartment. You began inviting Jae to the movies, out to dinner, to ease into more couple like activities and to give him the push of officially asking you to be his.

Each invite however, he never accepted, using excuses of hanging out with the band that he was in or that he was spending time with his family. You started to notice that your acts of affection at work were done when no one was around, the two of you hiding in the back of the shop for him to steal a quick kiss, or briefly in the cooler where he gripped your body tightly for only a minute.  
Soon you realized you were becoming his well-kept secret, a beneficial friend. The thought dawning on you after work one evening when his friends came to pick him up and he failed to introduce you, blowing you off coolly as if you weren’t important to him at all.

_Bzzt, bzzt!_

It was three in the morning when your heart lifted from your stomach, feeling hope again when you checked the latest kakao message from Jae.  
_Y/n… I need you here would you please come over?_  
You buried the sadness from him giving you the cold shoulder earlier to reply with an immediate,

_I’ll be there in 10._

Late at night is when you missed his presence the most.  
You arrived at his apartment door and it only took one knock before Jae opened it swiftly, pulling you into his arms.  
He didn’t speak words, lips finding yours in a heated kiss. He led you to his bedroom where he cuddled against you, his slender body enveloping yours, lithe fingers slipping under your shirt to rest at your tummy while his mouth gently worked against your own.  
Spending time the with Jae like this had always been heavenly, but you couldn’t deny that you needed more. It had been a few months and you had fallen deep into him wanting him to admit and show you properly that he had fallen deeply in to you too.

“Jaehyung…” Words finally left your swollen lips once he moved his to rest above your collarbone. Jae pulled back to look you in the eyes with a smile and a laugh.  
“What’s with the use of my full name? This is new.”  
“I…” You slipped from his warm grasp to sit up, chest tightening.  
“I love you, I’m in love with you…” You confessed bashfully, face heated. This was the moment you expected a similar reply and needed him to remove the doubt that he was keeping your relationship his own personal secret.  
“Look Y/n.” Jae sat up, hand running through his messy hair.

“How can I say it…? What we have his nice, but I’m not in love with you… this is just something fun. I don’t love you…”  
His honesty hit you hard, leaving you a bit shocked and too damaged to speak. You got off his bed silently, smoothing out your clothes before hurrying out. You gathered your belongings, eyes stinging with hot tears.  
You heard him behind you when you slipped on your shoes but he didn’t speak and you didn’t look back.  
While you walked home in the night, you had hoped what he said was just a joke and that he would follow you, chase after you like a man would do in a movie, but he stayed put signifying that he meant what he said.

Jae really didn’t love you after all.


	2. If You Smile, I Smile

_He left your life as quickly as he entered it and the heartache still managed to linger for months._

  
Three months to be exact, that’s how long it’d been since Jae cut you deeply with his words. You felt foolish to think he had the same amount of interest in you as you did with him. You cursed yourself for being blinded by a ludicrous love that promised no happy ending. Jae had quit your job the next day after your night together, with an excuse to your manager that he found a place that would pay him better.  
His departure was so sudden, there was no doubt in your mind that he left because of you. You didn’t think the situation would make him that uncomfortable, that he felt the need to escape.  
It was embarrassing when he didn’t reply to your kakao messages a week later. All you wanted was to apologize, but Jae only read your heartfelt message and chose to ignore it.  
It was over. The laughs and giggles, the time spent in each other’s embrace, every bit of false affection that made you happier than you’ve ever been in life. It was all gone over your stupid confession.

“You should smile more.”

A voice, very soft-spoken broke through your stupor of thoughts. You blinked away the haze of sadness you were lost in while at work, recalling how robotic you had been all day. But who was this person telling you what to do?  
Your eyes raised from the register you had been focusing on while thinking, meeting a pair of brown eyes that crinkled at the corners and a wide smile displayed on a male you’d seen so many times in the last month.  
“Oh…” You muttered, the corner of your lips tilting into something far from genuine.  
“Ahhh.” He sighed with a chuckle, scratching the back of his head.  
“That wasn’t genuine… but I’m sure when you decide to smile with everything you got it’ll be more beautiful.” His warm tone and compliment should have been enough to send positive vibes shooting through your body, but it didn’t.  
“I’m sorry.” You apologized to the male, realizing it could come off as bad customer service if you weren’t at least a little peppy when you worked.  
“It’s fine, no worries.” He beamed, looking past you.

“I think that’s my order coming up.” He pointed behind you to your co-worker who just finished boxing a small pizza. You hurried to grab it for the gentleman reading the ticket to see if he prepaid before arriving, and he did.  
“Wonpil…?” You read his name out loud looking up from the receipt.  
“That’s me!” Wonpil answered cheerfully, taking his order from you carefully once you held it out.  
“Thanks, Y/n.” Another bright smile settled on his lips as he turned to walk away. For some reason, him speaking your name seemed to jolt some life back into you, urging you to respond quickly.  
“How do you know my name?”  You questioned him curiously. You had been so out of it lately you couldn’t quite recall if you might have interacted with him outside of your workplace.  
Wonpil pointed at your shirt with a surprised laugh.

“It’s on your name tag.”

A flood of embarrassment washed over you, and you couldn’t help but smile at how silly you sounded.  
“I’m sorry! That was silly of me.” You apologized with an awkward laugh, ready to flee toward the back of the pizza shop.  
“It’s fine. That was cute…” Wonpil gave a content sigh, tilting his head.  
“And it got you to smile and I was right, it’s more beautiful with it’s real.”  
Your heart thumped heavily against your chest you and tried to tell yourself that it began picking up its pace because you were still embarrassed, and not because it was the second time he complimented you.  
There was no way you could see yourself falling into the trap of someone else when your previous love wounds hadn’t healed.

* * *

  
Wonpil seemed to show himself during the days you were at your lowest, lifting you with simple phrases and a contagious grin. He was one of the friendliest customers your restaurant ever encountered and always made sure to tip well when he had the chance. He was a ray of sunshine that poured through the clouds on the rainy days of your life and the more you were exposed to him the more your heart warmed and you gradually let him in.  
“M-movie?” You didn’t mean to stutter but you did, swallowing a gulp so hard you were sure he could hear it.  
Wonpil nodded, leaning in closely over the counter.  
“Yes, a movie.” He chuckled a hint of pink tinging his cheeks., you could tell he was a bit nervous but tried his best to speak confidently.  
“I hear there’s a good one playing and…” He paused, reaching to wipe the cornmeal used on pizza dough from your cheek.  
“I’d like you to see it with me.” He continued with a smile.  
You chewed your bottom lip and gave him a nod still processing the current situation in your head, was it a date? This was the first time a guy had asked you out and it was usually you who did the asking though it never worked in your favor.  
“Yes…” You assured him with a verbal answer, very much elated.

“Great! I’ll see you at 7 pm.” He grinned.

The evening came sooner than you expected and you couldn’t deny the nerves that were rising in your stomach. You changed your outfit several times and constantly adjusted your hairstyle hoping you’d look more appealing outside your work clothes, though you could never tell. The knock on your door had your heart pounding, you knew it was Wonpil since he sent you a kakao message a few minutes earlier stating how close he was to arrive.  
You took a deep breath in and exhaled when you made it to your front door, pulling it open. There he stood casually dressed and extremely handsome. It was sort of intimidating how nice he looked daily and had you thinking you should have stepped it up a little more.  
“You look amazing, that’s a cute sweater.” He smiled, tugging on the sleeve of your over-sized sweatshirt.  
“Thank you…” You gave a bashful reply, stepping out your apartment and locking the door.  
“Let’s go, we don’t want to be late.” Wonpil took hold of your hand with ease, your eyes flickering to him quickly.  
“I’m sorry! I should have asked.” He let your hand go just as quick as he grabbed it, face flushing red in the sunset.  
“My palms are sweaty anyway…” He cleared his throat.  
You smiled, slipping your hand into his, not minding one bit. Your hands also became a little clammy when you were nervous.  
“Let’s go.” You spoke softly giving him a tug.  
The night seemed short, before you both knew it the movie was over and you would soon leave each other’s company. You had the best time out with him. Wonpil was a gentleman paying for tickets, he even bought you popcorn and other snacks. He couldn’t keep his gaze off you during the film, constantly making sure you were enjoying yourself and the best part of it all was that he hadn’t let go of your hand the entire time.  
“Thank you for tonight.” You smiled as the two of you strolled the down the sidewalks of the city.  
“Thank you for even coming with me Y/n…” Wonpil took a pause, squeezing your hand gently.  
“Would you like to go out again sometime?”  
You couldn’t contain the joyous feeling that expressed itself through small laughter as you answered him.  
“Of course, I’d love to.”

“I’m out.” Jae sighed as he exited his job, pulling off the cap that came with his work attire. It had been another fast-paced evening at the chicken spot he slaved at, another night that made him miss his old pizza job and a certain person in it. He placed his headphones in his ears as he walked down the street, it had been a while and by now you would have thought he’d forgotten your smile. There was one no one who could replace you, no matter how many women visited his apartment. No one was the same. The conversations he had with them didn’t flow well and they couldn’t touch him like you did. There was no solace when he cuddled them, no security and he hated himself for letting you go.  
You never know what you have until it’s gone.  
His mother told him that once and she also told him he shouldn’t be so fickle and toy around with women’s hearts.  
It was advice he should have listened to, then maybe he wouldn’t be trapped in a cycle of surpassed sadness. He was a pro at keeping his true feelings hidden from everyone around him.  
Why was it now that he realized how important you were and how much he cared for you? Why couldn’t he have been a man then and give your waiting heart a chance?  
If he just showed up to see you at work or even sent you a message at night, he wondered if you would ever smile at the thought of him again.  
Jae walked lost in his thoughts, his eyes gazing up at the stars, completely unaware he was about to walk into someone.

“Oh, I’m sorry!” He apologized, after almost crashing into a guy.  
“You always run into me.” It was a familiar face belonging to his bandmate and friend.  
‘Kim Wonpil!” Jae shoved the male when he realized who it was.  
“What are you doing out here dude?” He asked with a laugh.  
“I’m just coming back from walking my date home…” Wonpil smiled ears burning red.  
Jae stared at him wide-eyed, adjusting his glasses.  
“Wow, Wonpiri has a girl now? How did you manage to keep this hidden?! Dude, is she the one you’ve been popping out lyrics about?!” Jae teased, nudging Wonpil with his arm.  
“Yeah…” Wonpil chuckled rubbing the back of his neck.  
“You have to invite her to our gig tomorrow night, we have to thank her for giving you inspiration. Our songs are becoming more dope!” Jae grinned, earning him a nod from Wonpil.  
“I’ll invite her if she’s not working late tomorrow.” Wonpil grinned.  
“Sounds like a plan man, I’ll see you tomorrow night then.” The two high-fived and went their separate ways, leaving Jae a bit envious.

* * *

  
It was the night of the show, set in a small club right in the heart of the city. Jae and his band had just performed two of their older songs and were about to hit their fans with something new, one of the songs written by Wonpil with the help of their bassist Brian.  
They started to play, the crowd easing into the groove of the song.  
Jae’s eyes scanned the crowd as he performed, really getting into it, his fingers strumming his guitar like crazy as the song picked up. It was his turn to sing and his eyes landed on a familiar face in the crowd, it was you standing in front and it set his heart on fire.

His irises trailed over your features, you hadn’t changed much and you were smiling but your eyes were not on him, you didn’t even see him. Jae followed your gaze to the left of him, noticing how your eyes shined in the dim light while you stared at Wonpil playing the keyboard.  
You seemed completely moon-struck and so did his friend who gazed back at you, the eye contact you and Wonpil shared made his heart sink.  
You were the one the song was about, you were the one who inspired such a beautiful set of lyrics that he wished he could have written for you instead. Jae played his guitar passionately, his dark irises never leaving your face and even though he was hurting,  
even though his heart was breaking at that very moment,  
he still managed to smile.


End file.
